Worrying....as usual

So I've bee worrying about a lot lately. Its nothing new. Like I've mentioned before I'm a HUGE worry wart and I have such a bad case of paranoia. Well anyway, I've been worrying about a bunch of things. Like my weight, and how I'm not fully satisfied with my body and it all feels so hopeless. I know, I know, my body isnt that bad, and I should feel confident, but.. the truth is, as a teenage girl, whose been single forever, and I really do mean forever, its NOT that simple.. Then there is the whole friends thing, that I've been ranting about on and on, to no end, and I shouldn't really care anymore, but.. I'm just so afraid that I'm never going to find a steady dependable loving group of people I can call my friends, because I keep losing them. Then there is college. OH BOY college, I've applied to a certain college, and I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna go to it, I'm not saying any names because I don't want to jinx it, but I wont get a letter until I take my SATs, which is May2nd and June6, depending on how well I do in May determines if I want to take them again to get the best of both scores, the college told me they received my letter and are waiting for the SATs, so I gotta wait. And waiting is sooo hard for me. I'm an EXTREMELY impatient person. And waiting makes me think, and thinking Tatlyn isn't a good healthy Tatlyn, she's insane over-paranoid, over-sensitive, over-emotional Tatlyn. Not fun to be around when the talk of college starts. So this scares me, like all the what ifs. I mean I know you gotta go into this kinda thing head on with a good attitude, and I was a bit weary of it at first, but once I handed in my paper, I had a great feeling, a feeling of pride, like I was going to get accepted, that THIS was my time... Well now, now I'm not so sure. Don't get me wrong, average student, could have been great but I messed that up in 9th grade, and if I study for the SATs, I shouldn't have a problem. But the waiting is stressing me out and eating me alive. Then there is how others view me, especially for me taking off a year and for me being unemployed. But folks, incase no one has noticed, the economy is kinda in the toilet right now, so jobs are rare to get. :) Then.. there is writing these blogs. I've found out I offend a lot of people through my blog-rants. I really don't mean to, they are never just about one person, they are about my life and everyone in it. Writings these blogs are the only way I can truley express myself properly. I never am 100% sure about posting anything because of how people respond to it, but I realized every great writer has their critics, so I gotta face them. Who cares? Right? Anyway, yeah these are all the things that eat away at me every day. Ahaha.